oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
