And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Me too!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
