Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize