am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
