Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
