that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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