Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize