Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
