It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
