She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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