was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
