Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
