oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
