Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
