This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
