She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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