i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Acid is not a monday night drug
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
