I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
