the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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