Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
