yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
