It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
