That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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