My hand turned me down
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
