guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
