so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just pee around me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize