we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
