thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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