Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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