I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
