Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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