Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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