oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
