Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
