Kiss
Puke
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
