I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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