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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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