Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
