Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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