i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
