Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am available for nakedness
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
