Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ugly people sure do ruin things
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
