There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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