Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
