he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I look better un-naked...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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