Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
