That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
