It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
