you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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