Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
