Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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