whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
is that a dick in a sweater?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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