ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
