I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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