By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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