No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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