So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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