i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
