Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize