If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
