he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just googled if crying burns calories
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
