He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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