Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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