Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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