Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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