btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
