Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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