I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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