His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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