Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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