Small penises have feelings too.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
