So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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