we have officially lost it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
